11: December Update (6 Months to change my life)

www.RFME.org

Music for this blog (Coldplay - Life In Technicolor ii)
Press the white "arrow" to play music.

Mary Christmas. I'm one of those people who usually does the majority of my Christmas shopping on Christmas Eve. There's a bunch of us (mostly guys) who show up at a store around 3 PM on December 24th, smile and nod to one another like we know each other, and run around the store grabbing whatever is within arms reach that we are positive our "significant other" will be exclaiming "This is EXACTLY what I wanted!". And every Christmas morning, regardless of what Mary receives, those are the words I always hear coming from her mouth, accompanied with a smile that melts my heart.

Anyone that knows me, knows that I honestly consider myself to be the luckiest man on the face of the earth because I have such a wonderful and supportive wife. When I asked her what she wanted for Christmas she replied You have already given me the best gift in the world - your health. I really don't need anything else. See what I mean? How do you compete with that? My love for her grows stronger every day.

Deadline. Like my Christmas shopping procrastination, I always put off what I needed to do regarding my health until "tomorrow" which fortunately never arrived. A procrastinators dream. Unlike the definitive deadline of December 24th that I pushed to it's limit every year, my health really didn't have such a tangible deadline other than the quite apropos word "dead" from the word deadline. And though mounting evidence of it's early arrival always stuck in the back of my mind when I visited my doctor or even looked at myself in the mirror sometimes, I justified that I could do something about it later. But unfortunately, unlike buying additional Christmas gifts AFTER Christmas for Mary, bundled with a heartfelt apology, there really aren't any "do overs" when it comes to waking up the next day from life's final deadline. And as selfish as it may sound, I have given Mary what she wanted for Christmas: My Health. And a promise to be around for many more Christmas mornings with a smile on my face and love in my heart. And a bunch of "This is EXACTLY what I wanted" gifts. :)

Another Landmark. This December 7th marked another significant landmark in my journey to the Boston Marathon as it has been 6 months since I started my training and weight loss regimen. That's it! Six months and I have completely changed just about every aspect of my life. That equates to just 1.08% of my entire lifetime (6 months divided by 552 months). On top of that, it has been just about the best 1.08% of my life as every aspect has changed in such a positive way. In the grand scheme of age, it's a very short time.

And since nothing usually illustrates a change better than a picture, here's one for you...


Wow! How about that picture? That's the proverbial "I used to fit in these?" shot that they show on TV or in ads to get you to subscribe to some wonder diet program, miraculous weight loss pills, or magical exercise equipment. Now that I think about it, I could have created some type of "magic pill" made out of some protein powder and some crushed up red cherry Life Savers ("activation crystals") and I'd probably be a millionaire!

In such a short amount time, I have completely changed my physical being. I have lost almost 93 pounds since June 7th and have lost ~115 pounds since the beginning of this year! If someone had told me 6 months ago that I could lose 93 pounds without surgery I would have told them they were nuts. Even if I had surgery, I seriously doubt that I would have lost that much weight! The thing that continues to amaze me is that it hasn't been that hard. I still eat just about everything that I ate before, but it's just that now I'm aware of what I'm eating and how many calories I'm taking in and simply reduce the amount of food I eat. Sure, there are going to be days like today (Christmas) where I'm going to have a "few" more calories than I should, but I also now know that I can make up for those extra calories the next day and spend a little more time exercising to burn them up.

Speaking of exercising, this the part of my routine that I am really concentrating on quite a bit more. While I am obviously very happy with the weight loss, I continue to amaze myself as to how much my body is now capable of doing. Six months ago I could only run 10 yards (that is not an exaggeration) and last weekend I ran 11 miles, nonstop! I'm doing it and I really don't even know how it's possible! That said, this weekend I will do 12 miles and I have no doubt that I will do it and feel fine afterwards.

As usual, below is my monthly "picture in front of my front door". As you may notice, the outfit has changed a little from the other pictures that I have posted each month. When I posted it on my website (www.RFME.org) I told people that it was a Christmas Edition, but the truth is that I couldn't find the my usual gray t-shirt/dark blue shorts outfit that I normally wear on the 7th. Eventually I found and rescued them from the ever growing "Clothes to Salvation Army" pile that has taken over an extra bedroom but they really don't fit that well anymore (see above picture). The picture below is what I was wearing when I ran 10 miles, in 26 degree temperature as well. Me, in spandex? Who would have thunk it!

I should also point out that this will more than likely be the last of my double digit weight loss postings as my weight is getting pretty close to where it should be. I find it strange when the vast majority of my friends and other people that "knew me when" tell me I look great but I really shouldn't lose any more weight. Ironically these are some of the same people that were probably scared for my health when I weighed 300+ pounds! lol In any event I did visit my doctor a couple of weeks ago and she told me that my ideal weight should be somewhere between 165-175 so I can lose a few more pounds. At the next "weigh in" (January 7th), especially with Christmas (and all the parties) along with New Years thrown in, I'll be happy to break 180!

Thanks again for reading and have a Happy New Year!

Roger

DATE: December 7th WEIGHT: 183.8
LOSS FOR MONTH: 11.4 TOTAL LOSS: 92.9


Music for this blog (Coldplay - Life In Technicolor ii)
Press the white "arrow" to play music.

November Update: Coolness!

The scale doesn't lie, so thank God for Photoshop! lol jk

Two months ago on Sept 7th, I informed Cris (the director of the documentary about my "journey to the Boston Marathon") that I had lost another 12.4 pounds to bring me in at 224.8. Appearing impressed he commented "You'll be at 200 in no time" and after thinking about that statement for a few seconds, I replied "yeah, that will never happen!". It's funny, but looking back at that conversation now, I honestly did not believe that I could ever go below 200 pounds and assumed it was just wishful thinking on the part of a young film maker who realized that all of his efforts wouldn't quite work out as planned if his subject gained weight and wasn't able to finish the marathon. I'm not sure what the technical description is for a movie that fails to reach it's intended point is but the term "Flop" comes to mind.

Actually, the first time I met Cris to discus the "film", this particular scenario of me gaining weight and never running the marathon or only running five miles of the marathon and dropping out to go and grab some fried clams and a beer was brought up and I mentioned I thought it would make the movie just as interesting, with the only difference being that the genre would have to be switched from "Documentary" to "Comedy". Since this was the first time he had met me and I had met him, I'm not sure he saw the humor in my alternative vision. He left shortly after that, no doubt a little skeptical on what he had got himself into...

Baby steps. I have come to realization that it works out better to have both long and short term goals on a long range project like this. Obviously the long range goals are clearly defined (lose weight, run the marathon, raise money for Cystic Fibrosis research to help save the life of my niece Julia) but I have discovered that the short term goals such as increasing the distance I run, swim, and exercise are just as important. Monthly weight loss and running shorter races in preparation for the marathon are more good examples of short term goals. But ever since Cris made that comment about breaking the 200 pound barrier, it has kind of fallen in between the two goals because of it's significance. I suppose those are called landmarks and today I reached a significant landmark in my life by breaking the 200 pound barrier. I don't quite actually remember it, but I'm sure that when I discovered I had gone over 200 pounds when I was ~18, that was also a significant landmark as well, just one that I was not very proud of. Today, life is good.

Below are some different perspectives to illustrate just how far I have come.

• I have not been below 200 pounds since I was ~18 years old, almost 30 years ago.

• Mary (my wife) has never seen me below 230 pounds since we have known each other. How I convinced her to date and eventually marry me is still a mystery!

• At the beginning of this year (January) I weighed right around 300 pounds so I have now lost ~100 pounds in a little over 10 months.
  

• Since June 7th when I started this project, I have lost 81.5 pounds. To put that in perspective, when I pack my suitcase for a trip, I weigh it so that it comes in at 48 pounds (to be under the 50 pound limit). When I drag the suitcase down the stairs, I nearly kill myself because it weighs so much. I have lost ~1.6 suitcases! I really don't know how I was able to walk and run while carrying those suitcases and not collapse!

As I am almost at the exact halfway point to the Boston Marathon (04/20/09), this is a good time to see how far I have progressed in my training and how I was able to break the 200 pound barrier.

Exercise

Running.
Before: When I first started walking/running my 3 mile course in June, I was only able to "run" 10 yards before I had to stop.
After: Last weekend I ran nonstop 5.25 miles! During a typical day I run/walk at least 4 miles, most times 5 miles and sometimes 6+ miles!

Swimming.
Before: When I first started swimming in July, I could only swim 8 lengths (25 yards) of the pool and I had to stop. This is the equivalent of .11 miles.
After: On Thursday (Nov 5th) I swam 94 lengths of the pool which is equal to 1.33 miles!

Spin (Stationary Bike) Class:
Before: When I first started Spin class (3 days a week), I was convinced that the instructors had received special training in torture, had a much lower resistance level on their bikes (easier to pedal) than what the class was instructed to be at, and they somehow had the ability to slow down the clock on the wall so that a ONE hour session was in actuality a TWO hour session. In addition I was pretty sure that I had broken my tailbone/butt and that it would NEVER get better.
After: As of Friday (Nov 7th), with the exception that after 6 weeks my tailbone/butt finally repaired itself, everything else remains the same! lol All joking aside, I actually look forward to spin class, discovered that the instructors (also) received training in compassion and even whisper to myself "Bring it on!" when instructed to increase the resistance. That said, the clock is still suspect.

Weight Training:
Before: In June I was doing 1 set of 10 Reps, as fast as I could.
After: Yesterday I did 2 set of 15 reps. I have learned that you "push" for 2 seconds, "hold" for 2 seconds, and "release" for 4 seconds. I also have learned that less weight is more weight.

Diet

Another component of my preparation for the race is my diet. Exercise is great but for myself I also needed to change my entire diet. Fortunately my trainer/friend Rick helped set me up on a diet that broke down my foods into total calories, proteins, carbs, and fats. I would like to say it has been hard (and Rick, if you are reading this, it has been) but realistically it has not been as I really haven't been on an actual diet at all. It's just that now, I am completely aware of EVERYTHING that I eat and that not all foods are created equal. Here are some "before and after" thoughts on my diet.

Before: I ate approximately 3500-4000+ calories a day, completely disregarding the fat content.
After: Until a week ago I was limited to 2000 calories a day, although I never exceeded 1500. As of last week, I have reduced my allowance to 1300 calories a day but I rarely consume more than 1100 as the allowable fats or carbs max out before I get there.

Before: I would eat whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. Dieting was for tomorrow.
After: I'm one of those people in the store that actually reads the side panels of the food before putting it in my cart. As far as items that don't have a side panel (ie meats, fruits, restaurants, etc) I go to several websites that break them down for me.

Before: I would fry just about everything. Any health benefit that seafood had, be it fish, scallops and even lobster, was destroyed when I fried it up. Eating vegetables with breading on them was never an option. I even tried to fry lettuce once. It actually wasn't that bad.
After: I pretty much grill everything including fish, scallops and even tried lobster once (failure). I discovered that the food, instead of the crispy golden breading, has flavor as well. Who would have thunk it?

Before: I would snack (probably "gorge" is more appropriate) on sweets, ice cream, chips of all kinds, etc. I tried to fry ice cream several times but each time just made a mess in the kitchen.
After: Apples with fat free caramel sauce, bananas, fat free pudding, etc aren't as bad as I had suspected. Something in my brain snapped and I have absolutely no desire to eat the leftover Halloween candy bars that has been sitting in the kitchen since last week. Weird.

Well I could go on but I really need to go take the "front door" picture and finish this installment up. Thank you for taking the time to read this and have a nice day.

Roger :)
www.RFME.org

DATE: November 7th WEIGHT: 195.2
LOSS FOR MONTH: 16.4 TOTAL LOSS: 81.5

8) October Update (Part 2)

I was going to attach the following pictures to my last blog but then I figured I would keep them separate so if someone just wanted to see them they could do it without reading through the whole post.

Last week I found some pictures that I had taken in our kitchen at the beginning of this project in early June and was really surprised by how much I had changed. So on Saturday morning (October 18th) I had Mary take some new pictures of me, trying to replicate the same location and position of the earlier pictures and was going to post them side by side. I did that and I thought the change was pretty interesting, but it really didn't have the impact I was looking for. I closed the files with a promise to come back and work on them later.

The following day (Sunday) I was scheduled to run my first 5K (~3.1 miles) race and was so anxious that I woke up around 6 AM and needed something to do. I looked at the pictures again and decided to make a gif file so that the pictures would switch back and forth. The results are below.

BTW, it should be noted that these pictures are only FOUR months apart and have not been altered with the exception of resizing them so that the pictures and dimensions were equal. Also contrary to some accusations from some friends that have seen them, I did not bleach my hair in order to join a "boy band", but assume that the chlorine in the pool is the likely culprit! lol.

Roger
www.RFME.org

7) October Update

I know, I know...

As usual I have been very late with any type of update. I suppose it's one of those things that go on the "I'll do it tomorrow" list that keeps on getting pushed back to the next day and the next day and so on. Hopefully you have the ability to forgive my procrastination a little better than the IRS does, and without inflicting a penalty against me as well.

First, let me refresh your memory. When I last weighed in on September 7th, I tipped the scale at a hefty 224.8, a loss of 51.9 pounds from the start of this "experiment" and 12.4 pounds from the previous month (August for the calendar challenged). Not bad as anything over 10 pounds per month is just gravy (mmmm, gravy!) for me. That said, I have come to the realization that in the very near future, losing even 10 pounds per month will become a tougher goal to meet, especially with the "muscle weighs more than fat" rationale that I seem to hear quite often.

In addition, obstacles are constantly getting in the path of a regular schedule so those must be taken into account. October presented a pretty big obstacle when we went to San Francisco from October 3-7th for a quick anniversary weekend and to catch the Patriots-49ers game. I realized that being out of my normal environment can cause problems, especially since you pretty much eat out for every meal. Fortunately the hotel had a decent fitness center and I put 4-5 miles on it everyday. After comparing my Pre-Trip weight to my Post-Trip weight I was somewhat relieved to see that I only gained 1.9 pounds, especially considering the food and drinks that I consumed! I didn't go crazy but I have come to the conclusion that you can take a couple of days off from a "diet" and enjoy yourself. The bottom line is that I now think about everything that I eat and try to make intelligent choices.

BTW, if any is interested in viewing pictures of our trip to San Francisco, I created a separate page on the website for them and you view them HERE. The pictures are reduced so please click on any picture that interest you to expand it for better viewing.

OK so without further delay, here is the October 7th picture. Thanks for viewing and have a nice day.

Roger
www.RFME.org

DATE: October 7th WEIGHT: 211.6
LOSS FOR MONTH: 13.2 TOTAL LOSS: 65.1

6) September Update

Well, as usual I have been been lax in posting to this blog. I actually started writing one at 3 AM on Sunday, Sept 7th (hence the date of the posting), but as usual got way off track and pretty much wrote an entire book, without completing the last couple of chapters. And even though I am pretty good about updating my website (www.RFME.org) with the updated picture, weight update, etc., I have discovered that some people just go to the blog for updates, which is really the way it should work.

So just to update anyone that is reading this, I had my weigh in a day earlier than the normal 7th of the month as we were heading down to the Cape early on the 7th (Sunday) to shoot some film of my brother's family and specifically footage of my niece Julia. We spent the entire day (Sept 6th) with Cris and his film crew (10 AM - 6 PM) and so by the time everyone packed up and left, I was pretty tired. Fortunately Mary gave me the little bit of a push that I needed and I headed down to the club to get my minimum 3 miles in.

Just like The Biggest Loser, I used the workout before weighing in as my "last chance workout" and pretty much do everything I can to get the weight down as much as possible. In an attempt to shorten an already bloated blog (again), I ended up doing 5 miles on the treadmill and 30 minutes on an elliptical trainer. I got home around 9 PM ready to face the scale.

As I had previously mention in another blog, I always have a fear that this will be the month I would reach the plateau and would only lose ~5 pounds. Frankly I was fine with that as I really wanted to just break the 230 mark and feel like I had accomplished yet another rung on the proverbial ladder of accomplishments. Quick sidenote is that I was 232 pounds when Mary and I got married 16 years ago! So with Mary by my side I stepped on the scale and was happy to see 224.8 pop up on the scale! Both of us seriously thought the scale was wrong so I got on it 2 more times just to verify it and was happy to discover that we were wrong and the scale was right! Obviously it's getting tougher to lose weight so I was very happy with a 12.4 Pound loss.

I suppose that is enough typing for now, especially since I have a meeting at noon so I will end it here. As usual, thanks for everyone's support and interest.
Roger

Date: September 7th Weight: 224.8 (-12.4)

5) August Update

Whew, just made it with an August post! Unfortunately I have been pretty busy with both "works" (working out and regular work) so I haven't had a chance to update. Sorry about that.

As the long "essays" on this blog tend to take quite a long time, I have decided to switch things up a little bit as well and post much shorter updates and when I find the time maybe throw a bloated story in here every so often. Frankly the "essays" have always been just something I wanted to do for myself as I take this journey and decided to make them public for anyone that cared to read them and know I am still alive. I usually update the website (www.RunningForMyExistence.com) with developments but this may be a better and simpler format for updates.

Since my last post I have had a couple of somewhat significant events in my training, weight loss and Marathon prep schedule. again, I'll try to keep it simple...

Weight Loss - I had my second "weigh in" on August 7th and was extremely happy to discover that I lost another 17.4 pounds, dropping my weight down to 237.2! Therefore total loss for the two months since I started this is 39.5 pounds! Not bad considering that prior to starting this project, I had dropped ~25 pounds since the beginning of the year so the "easy" weight was pretty much gone. I have posted an updated picture at the bottom of this entry.

BTW, everyone normally reaches a "plateau" where the body adapts to the weight the body has lost and decides to slow things down to protect the body. Right now it appears I'm standing in the middle of a plateau so I probably won't be posting a double digit loss for September. If I was just in this to lose weight then I would probably be more bummed out, but fortunately I am cognizant that weight loss is only one component of the larger picture so I take solace in other developments. Sounds like justification talk but it really is pretty true.

Exercise - In addition to my other exercise routines (ie spin/bike class, swimming, weights) I have maintained my 3 mile/walk run everyday except on Sundays. I was starting to get a little concerned about my "running" as I was finding myself limited to running a maximum distance of 1/2 mile before I had to stop and start walking again - not good for someone who's planning on running 26.2 miles! I would actually look at other people running down my street and silently curse them. Finally, after some good advice from Rick (my trainer) who explained that I was wearing myself out just so I could finish exercising quicker, I decided to slow down a little and control my breathing better.

Last Saturday I ran my entire 3 mile course nonstop and I really felt great, both physically and emotionally. I actually screamed "Yes" as I touched the driveway which caused my neighbor two doors down to look at me with concern. I just kind of smiled and waved and then walked up the driveway feeling very content.

Although I'm sure many of you reading this would have no problem running 3 miles nonstop, consider this about me. In late May, I was barely able to walk ~2.5 miles during the Cystic Fibrosis Great Strides walk. I actually had to turn around and come back because my legs and shins were killing me. In Early June when I started my 3 mile walk/run program, after one week of walking, I tried to run, but had to stop after 10 yards because I was completely out of breath and thought I was going to die. And just over one week ago, the most I had ever run nonstop was 1/2 mile and I had only done that twice! If you were in my shoes, I think you would have screamed "Yes" as well. lol

Well, as usual, this has become yet another blotted post! I was going to post some other updates like I have now increased my swimming from 8 laps to 50 laps (3/4 mile) but I'll save those for another day. Thanks for reading this and thanks for the continued support. :)

Roger

DATE: August 7th, 2008 WEIGHT: 237.2

4) Take My Picture

Has anyone ever made a comment to you, that at the time didn't really make sense, but years later actually did make sense? For me, it was about 10 years ago and it came from a guy named Fred that ran a printing office in the same building that I worked. Fred was one of those people that I never quite figured out whether he was a genius or one step away from being committed. The saying "Genius is more often found in a cracked pot than in a whole one" pretty much sums up the situation.

I don't really remember the reason for my visit to his office that day, but since he did some printing of business cards and company stationery for us, I will assume this was the reason for my visit. I'm also not sure how we got off on the topic of weight, but like most conversations with Fred, they usually went off in tangents that had little to do with printing within 30 seconds or so. And while I don't recall the specific conversation, I do specifically remember the exact look on his face and location in his office when he said "You really don't know that you're fat do you?".

At the time I was ~270 pounds and thought it was one of the most bizarre things anyone had ever said to me. Of course I knew that I was fat! A look at the weight on the bathroom scale confirmed that to me, although that was mainly due to the weight of the clothes I was wearing and that I had just eaten a meal 12 hours earlier. Clothes constantly seemed smaller, but that was also due to the dryer shrinking them. Sure, new clothes sizes were constantly increasing, but I was pretty much convinced that that was due to a worldwide pact between clothing manufacturers to decrease the "size scale" (ie XL is now L, XXL is now XL, etc). The seats at Fenway Park, the movie theaters, airplanes, etc were starting to become tighter, although they were always on the small side anyway. Most importantly, I could see myself in the bathroom mirror and saw that I had gained a little weight, maybe. I left Fred's office convinced that he was far from a genius and decided to keep future conversations limited to a simple "Hello" and "Have a nice day".

For those of you that are not aware, my "journey to the Boston Marathon" is being documented on film by a young film maker named Christian (Chris) Torres. And while I have no expectations of anything big coming from it other than a DVD that I can show my friends and family after this is over, I will do whatever I can to help out the director with this project and hopefully help it to become a success for him and his career.

One of his requests was for me to put together some pictures throughout my life that he could reference in the movie. Fortunately I had scanned in some old pictures while making a video for my father's 80 birthday two years earlier so that helped save some time. In addition, with the convenience of digital pictures, I had quite a few pictures from the last five years. It was at that point that I stumbled across a couple of interesting things.

My first observation was that I really don't have a lot of pictures of just myself. I suppose that kind of makes sense as I have been an amateur photographer since the time I was around 15 and because of that I prefer to be behind the lens versus in front of it. That said, as I went through the pictures, I realized how much I really didn't like pictures of myself. Thinking back, I really don't ever recall asking someone to "Take my picture", with me being the only one in the picture because deep down I knew that I probably wouldn't like the pictures once I saw them. For the vast majority of the ones taken just of me that I had available, they were taken by other people and sent to me. Of those, most were thrown in the trash since I was the only one in the picture and invariably it was a "bad shot". I didn't need those pictures anyway, because in my mind I "knew" what I really looked like and it was nothing like the way I appeared in those pictures! That statement may confuse a a lot of people but others know exactly what I am talking about...

The second observation that I discovered was almost by accident. As I collected the pictures and saved them in a folder on my computer, I decided to rename each picture by listing my age as the file name. That way when Chris went through the pictures, he could find one of me at age 1 or find one of me at age 41 if he needed one. After renaming all of the pictures, I then sorted them in order of age, and like a slideshow, watched myself as I grew older. As I clicked through each picture, I was struck by what was happening to me on the screen. As the pictures played one after another, my weight, like my age, continued to get higher and higher almost like a perfect graph. And as strange as it sounds, I realized that Fred was right, and probably for the first time in my life at age 47, I realized just how "fat" I was. Congratulations Fred, you were right.

I should probably end the story there but there is one last chapter. A couple of days after I was putting these pictures in order I had my monthly "weigh in" on the 7th of the month. Although I had weighed myself a couple of times between June 7th (the official starting date of this project) and July 7th, I really didn't know where I would come in on the scale. I have been sticking to my exercise routine and diet almost to a fault but still had no idea where I stood, hoping that I had lost at least 16 pounds to get me below 260. So on July 7th with Mary by my side, I stepped on the scale after my 3 mile walk/run and was very happy to see that I had lost 22.1 pounds! I proved to myself that even though I was 47 years old and never paid attention to diet and exercise, that through hard work and perseverance, I could lose weight and change myself for the better. As I added the new picture of me at 254.6 pounds to the folder for Chris the director, a song by the group Filter "Take A Picture" was playing in the background. To make a long story short, I ended up making a quick "video" out of the pictures and using the song. BTW, I chose the picture of me in the white shirt to end the "slideshow" because it marked the heaviest I ever was at 318 pounds. When I first saw the picture I didn't even recognize myself...but I have no doubt that Fred would have.

Below is the video that I have uploaded to YouTube. In the event that the video doesn't connect, you can download a higher resolution of it HERE

3) My Body Is An Amusement Park

Anyone that knows me, knows that eating food is more like an adventure or distorted hobby to me. Almost as a defense mechanism, I would joke with people who witnessed my eating habits, a phrase I heard back in high school and repeated throughout most of my life: "Some people treat their bodies like a temple. I treat mine like an amusement park". It was usually good for a laugh and in actuality pretty close to reality.

Fried foods were my specialty and one that goes back to my early childhood, way before anyone even thought of the word Transfats. Growing up in Maine, I'm pretty sure my first introduction to fried foods began when I had my first Fried Clam by the age of 6 or 7. Like a heroin addict, I was pretty much hooked before the last golden crumb fell to the empty plate below and any type of frying oil or Crisco shortening was my poison. Within 2-3 years, I was digging clams in the mud flaps of Kennebunport, ME just for the purpose of frying them up, with the assistance of one of my older siblings who usually kept a portion for their services.

When I was 12, I moved to a small little town in the panhandle of Texas and got a job working in a small highway cafe washing dishes at $1.00 an hour. While the pay was low, one of the perks was free food, and another was my new best friend, The Frialater, who agreed to fry anything that I threw in him. Nothing fried was sacred and even vegetables dressed up in a shiny coat of golden crust were invited to the party I regularly had in my mouth. I even gobbled down the official "seafood" of the Texas panhandle, Rocky Mountain Oysters with reckless abandon until their true origin was discovered. I still get a little queasy about that one.

In addition to fried foods, anything else listed on a nutritionist's "DO NOT EAT" list was thought of as a challenge instead of a warning. I have seen owners of pizza and chinese buffets almost start to panic as they see me walking into their establishment. I still believe that less than three trips to "the line" is not only an insult to the chef who had worked so hard preparing the foods for me, but also indicates a lack of effort on my part.

Sure, there were numerous diets and attempts to control my eating, but unfortunately the dedication would usually start to erode after 2-3 days. After this "intro" period, I would reward myself with a "regular" meal that was repeated over and over for the next 3-4 days, justifying it by averaging the regular and diet meals for the week. Another tool I used was the Evolution of Food. For example, I would start out with grilled chicken. After a couple of days I determined that Chicken McNuggets were actually just chicken with a little bit of coating on them, so how bad could they be? A few days later I justified eating General Tso's (aka Gao's) Chicken, somewhat content that I was sticking to my diet as it was merely Chicken Nuggets with a "healthy" chinese sauce poured on it. In addition it usually came with brocoli which took care of the extra calories! I can honestly state that I had never stayed on a diet for longer than a week, and that week didn't include the weekend.

I say "had", because as I type this, I have not only stayed completely on my diet for the last 21 days, but have left almost half my allocated calories on the table, in the refridgerator, or on the shelves of the kitchen cabinets. Somehow something switched and each meal is no longer an adventure but something that I need to think about BEFORE I put the food in my mouth, not after. It seems almost scripted and somewhat cliché, but it really is true: Before I started this project it was as if I was almost existing, just to eat. Now I am eating to exist.

How I changed is really quite simple. Rick, my trainer, sat down with me and we set up a diet. First, to maintain my body weight, I could take in approximately 10 times my weight (ie 2760) in calories, so to lose weight we set out on a diet of 2000 calories. In addition Rick pointed out that all calories are not the same and that to maintain a healthy body, I really needed to break down my food intake to 40% Protein, 40% Carbohydrates and 20% Fat. I created an Excel spreadsheet that breaks down each food item into these categories, as well as calculates how many calories each item equals (ie 1 gram of Protein and Carbs equals 4 calories and 1 gram of Fat equals 9 calories). As I eat a food, I just copy and paste that food from a master list of foods that I constantly update into my daily log of foods eaten. Might sound complicated but it really isn't, especially with sites like Calorie King that does a great job of breaking down just about all foods out there.

If anyone is interested in the Excel Spreadsheet that I created (very basic form but hopefully you can figure it out) I have uploaded to a website HERE. Just a couple of things about it. One, the website that hosts it requires you to wait 25 seconds before downloading it. Two, if there is a number to the right of the food item, you need to change it to the number of ounces, cups, etc you are eating. Three, the bags of vegetables (ie green beans, etc) are based on half a bag as I split them with my wife. Four, I have added a hyperlink to the Calorie King website to the left of the foods. Fifth, you have to edit the formulas for all foods that you add that are broken down into ounces, cups, etc. Six, I left the usual three things I eat everyday on the list as an example. Email me if you have any problems.

BTW, sorry I haven't updated this but unfortunately I got hit with a wicked cold. Hopefully, I'm finally at the tailend of it. And even though I felt like pretty crummy, I still completed my exercise routine (ie 3 mile walk/run, spin class, and weight training) everyday except last Friday!

2) The Turning Point

I suppose there's something quite ironic about the fact that a portion of my 3 mile walk is through a cemetery, and even more ironic is that it contains my "Turning Point". So essentially I'm running INTO a cemetery so that I stay OUT of a cemetery! I suppose I should explain.

One of the major reasons that I am taking on this task of running the Boston Marathon is to get myself in shape and lose at least 50-75 pounds. As a start. I just turned 47 years old and on Thursday my doctor informed me that my Body Mass Index (BMI) is literally "off the chart" that they have posted on the wall next to the scale. And not just barely off the chart, but off of it by a couple of inches if they extended to include my weight! She said it with a laugh, but I have no doubt that she was not laughing inside. Neither was I.

At my current weight of 276 pounds, I am classified as "Morbidly Obese", a term that is much uglier than the friendly "portly" or "big boned" adjectives that I have used during the majority of my life to describe my weight. Believe it or not, it suddenly dawned on me that the only reward that I see for remaining at such an elevated weight is an early seating at the cemetery of my choice. I'm sure heaven's a nice place (I'm making an assumption about my future membership here...) but I really kind of like my Existence here on earth and would prefer to stay here as long as possible, with my wife, family and friends. I mean, I haven't even been to Branson, MO yet! lol

I started my 3 mile walk on Monday, and even though my shins were killing me due to not using my legs like they are supposed to be used for the last 20 years ("shin splints"), I crossed the finish line at Home just under the one hour mark (58 minutes and 8 Seconds to be exact). And while I actually considered playing the "If your muscles start to hurt too much, go ahead and stop walking for the day" card that my trainer Rick had given me, I persevered and pushed through the pain. (On a sidenote and a question I still don't have an answer too, how I am supposed to get home if I'm a mile away from home and I decide to stop walking?) In any event, I did make it home and was somewhat surprised to learn that my shins did not snap and fall off my legs, and with a little ice, felt much better after 20 minutes.

The weather gods were very nice on Monday, with temps in the upper 60s, and they repeated the gesture on Tuesday, with temps in the lower 70s! The evil Shin Splints reared their ugly head again, but I had done some stretches before I left and this time they didn't seem to be as severe so I was able to knock ~3 1/2 minutes off my time to finish at 54:33!

Then came Wednesday and with it, rain. I decided to wait it out and see if it would pass, but as noon rolled around, it continued to come down even harder. As I have done for pretty much my entire life, I saw a perfect opportunity to skip this day and blame the rain. In addition, I had no doubt that I could convince Rick that I had taken his advice and given my poor overworked legs and muscles a break for fear of doing major damage. And even though times in the mortgage business (my occupation) are slow right now, I was positive that there were some files to shuffle or phone calls to make and answer. I was sure that I could even create a few more excuses on demand, if needed, to convince myself and everyone else why I was not able to give a 100% commitment to my project that Wednesday. I decided to call it a day and took my running shoes off.

But then something happened. Something I hadn't experienced before. It was almost as if I was getting sick from the guilt that lay inside of me. Guilt that I was lying to myself, to Rick, to my wife Mary, my friends and family as well as everyone* at the "Turning Point" cemetery who, even though they probably don't know it, are supporting me. I put my shoes back on and headed out the door. To make a long story short, I arrived back Home 30 seconds faster than the day before, my shins still killing me, and completely soaked from head to toe. I really don't recall ever being more proud of myself or ever feeling better.

It may not seem like much to anyone outside my head, but this was a turning point for me. Without everyone's support, I have little doubt that I would have put my shoes back on and walked those 3 miles in the rain. But I did, and I have continued to walk the 3 miles everyday since. Thank you.

Me, Saturday June 7th

Everyone At The Turning Point Cemetery
Hello Carla. Same to you Newell.
Nice seeing you Augusta. How's it going Al?
Clarence, do you mind if I call you Larry
To rhyme with your neighbor to the north, Harry?
I know you don't know me, nor me know you,
But thanks for the support, see you tomorrow,
sleep well.

1) One Point Five: The Journey Begins.

Today, Monday June 2nd at 7:30 AM, I opened the side door of my house and stared down upon what I have always considered just a normal step that I take to "Everyday". But not today. Today the step seemed to stare back at me, almost challenging me, and I knew that once I stepped down off of it, onto the driveway and down the street, my life would forever change.

Like most people, I don't remember taking my first steps as a baby. Being the youngest of six, I doubt it was a very big deal at the time. (Has anyone seen Roger? Oh there he is standing by the street. I guess he's walking now. Please pass the corn). And while I would like to think that my Mom (Hope) was there standing beside me for the big event, chances are she probably viewed it from heaven. Either way, I'm sure she was watching over me, making sure I was OK...

Friday, I met with my friend/trainer (Rick) and discussed my training schedule for the Boston Marathon. As I'm not really a big fan of walking/running, I have put it on the backburner of life's necessities. Somehow Rick, in his infinite wisdom, had already figured that out about me and knew I had to start off slow. Very slow. So my first assignment was to chart out a course of 3 miles, making sure that the ending point was the same as the starting point. I decided to call this point "Home". Using skills I obtained from my many years of schooling and applying these skills through a series of extremely complicated calculations, I was able to determine that my "turning point" would be 1.5 miles. One Point Five

Since "Home" is on a relatively busy street, it was issued a nice big sidewalk that has been a route for joggers for many many years. Matter of fact, if I was a little more industrious, I really should consider setting up a juice stand or maybe a toll booth on the sidewalk as the foot traffic is actually quite intense at times. But I digress.

I hopped in my car and reset the odometer. zero point zero Following the street away from the sun, I was surprised just how far a mile actually was. one point zero Much to my surprise, I was already in the next town over when the odometer clicked to one point one and realized that the sidewalk had suddenly disappeared, and I was forced to continue my course off of the main street and onto a small side street. one point three

It was at this point that I sensed something was happening that was bigger than me. You see, even though I didn't grow up anywhere near where I now lived, not even in the same state, I had actually been on this street many times before. As I drove up the street, the odometer updated itself. one point four

As I realized my "turning point" was approaching, I decided to make a turn into a cemetery and I was faced with a very steep hill. Rick had mentioned that I should try to incorporate some hills in my route if at all possible because unless you are running a marathon in Arizona, hills are going to be popping up just trying to ruin your day. I drove to the top of the hill and my car made a right turn almost out of habit and after about 30 feet, I watched the odometer change. One Point Five.

I stopped the car and realized that something quite close to miraculous had happened. As I looked out my window, there was a headstone with the simple word HOPE on it. A simple word for a person that I never knew, but a person I knew by a different name. Mom.

Today I took my first step on a path that will forever change my life, and my Mom was there to see me do it, making sure I was OK.

UPDATE: It has been over three years since I updated this blog but today I wanted to update this with a video I created a few week ago for a CF fundraiser. I am posting this video here today because, as my brother reminded me earlier today, today marks the 50th anniversary of my mom's death. So beyond running to her grave and saying a prayer, I decided to post the video I created about her. It's just something I needed to do. Thanks for watching over me mom. I hope I have made you proud of me. :)